ADE651 Dowsing Bomb Detector – unbe-f****g-lievable

How can it be possible that Governments spend millions on the ADE651 – an empty plastic toy that doesn’t work?

I’ve just watched the Newsnight report exposing the ADE651 ‘bomb detector’ which has earned a British man £50m  in sales to the Iraqi Government. Experts took apart the device and revealed it as a ludicrous scam; an empty case with nothing in it that could possibly detect anything – let alone explosives.

It is unbelievable that this device has been sold in some 20 countries - making the ‘inventor’ something like £80 million.

Scams are everywhere and they seem to be on the increase.  But it almost beggars belief that the ADE651 could be developed, marketed, sold and exported without someone pointing out the bleedin’ obvious: that it’s nothing more than a toy gun that wouldn’t look out of place on a Scientology table in your local market.

Unbe-f****g-lievable.

How to give great customer service – not :-)

Enjoy this real-life customer service interaction that I had yesterday

Background

I signed up with a UK-based online graphic email marketing company a couple of days ago to help promote a friends’ short charity campaign. We had 4 days and counting to get 2000 emails out. It’s a ‘vote for my YouTube’ campaign – cut off point Friday, so time (clearly) was of the essence.

Having used this particular company before (doh!) I went straight to their site and tried to sign up. Ah, no buy button. Anywhere. Bizarre. I know what I want… I just can’t buy it.

I phoned them and asked how I could buy the product I knew I needed. I was told rudely that I had to sign up for a free account. Uh? ‘Then you convert it to a paid one’. I offered him the feedback that nowhere did it tell me that information. He couldn’t care less.

Despite that experience, I signed up for two reasons: 1) I’d used the software before and although it was cranky, at least I knew it worked in the end and 2) my friend was running out of time. She paid her money and I then spent a full 4 hours (yes, 4) fighting with the visual editor to create the newsletter email.

I triumphantly pressed ‘send to mailing list’ – and got a message saying ‘cannot send until your account is verified’.

Nothing in the help made sense of that message and there was no online help (as it was 8pm in the evening by that time).

So we lost 14 hours or so – until I had the chance to get onto them via a live support chat widget the next day. Here’s what happened.

Sam: Hi – signed up yesterday, been trying to send to mailing list since yest PM but says ‘account not verified’ – verified account yesterday afternoon.  Can you pls look into that for me

Joe: Hi Sam

Sam: Hello – did you see my question?

Joe: yes

Joe: let me check your account

Sam: thanks

Joe: your account is now verified Sam

Sam: Thanks, any explanation what happened?  Lost us quite a bit of time out of a 4 day campaign.

Joe: all accounts need to be verified before they can send anything other than test sends. You need to request verification when you are ready to send out to a list.

Sam: We clicked the verification email link yesterday.  Is that what you mean?  If not, where does it tell me we need *another* kind of verification?

Joe: no, problem – you’re verified now and can use the account to send straight away

Sam: Joe, would appreciate an answer to my question

Joe: there is no < verification link >

Joe: maybe you mean the < activation link >

Sam: Ok.  So I clicked < activation link > in email.  Where does it tell me I need to < verify > my account before I can send?

Joe: when you try to send an email, the pop-up will tell you that you need to contact support to have the account verified

Sam: Nope.  It just pops up and tells me ‘Can’t send because your account isn’t verified’  it doesn’t tell me to contact support.

Joe: what point are you trying to make Sam ?

Joe: the account is now verified

Sam: The point I’m making is that your system a) uses ‘verify’ in a way that a customer won’t understand is different from ‘activate’ b) it then fails to send but doesn’t tell me clearly why c) it doesn’t say contact support

Sam: Result is I couldn’t get this send out last night, costing my friend 14 hrs out of her campaign

Joe: would you prefer us to cancel the account and refund your money

Sam: Did I ask for that?

Joe: you state that this caused ” your friend ” – is this YOUR account Sam ?

Sam: Listen, Joe – before you start trying to be confrontational, please be aware that I work in online reputation management – I will be blogging this experience

Sam: This account is for a friend who is running a campaign

Sam: a charity campaign

Joe: actually – if you are a charity

Sam: She signed up for the account, I created the newsletter

Sam: She isn’t a registered charity yet

Joe: we do offer a free account to not-for-profit

Sam: thank you but she is not a charity yet

Joe: ok

Sam: Ok, before I go

Sam: I called Aacme Graphic Email Marketing yesterday to offer you some feedback about how hard it was to buy your product

Sam: – I got a rude reception

Sam: I eventually signed up and haven’t had a satisfactory experience with information definately missing

Sam: with the result I couldn’t send, have lost time and don’t feel very good about Aacme Graphic Email Marketing

Sam: I contact you for support and you’re reluctant to either accept my feedback (which could possibly save you a lot of lost sales) or give me a satisfactory account of why the site doesn’t offer the right information

Sam: so…

Sam: it’s not great.

Sam: Thank you for ‘validating’ – I have sent the emails

Joe: the reason for the verification process is to limit our exposure to spammers. Every account needs to be manually verified

Joe: this gives our clients a better experience once they have been validated

Joe: as there is less chance of our systems and network being corrupted by spammers

Joe: we are sorry if this has caused you any inconvenience

Sam: Joe, that’s fine – but if you p*ss them off before they even get ‘validated’ (by not telling them that’s what needs to happen) then you won’t get to give them a better experience

Joe: This is not usually the case

Sam: Seriously how would you know?

Sam: Who ever takes the time to fight through your defensiveness to give you this feedback? Hmm?  Seriously

Joe: via the amount of sign ups we get

Joe: and yes we do get feedback

Sam: Oh, lordy.  How about the ones you DON’T get

Joe: generally via our live support

Sam: Anyway, look, I still hear you don’t want to accept my feedback

Sam: so thanks for sorting this out

Joe: no we do

Sam: and I’m outta here

Joe: and it has been taken on board

Sam: ciao

Joe: have a good day Sam

Sam: you too

“hp computers are racist” – this is very funny and interesting

HP computer’s webcam ‘prefers’ white people to black people. Does that make it racist?

This is going viral on YouTube – and no surprise. The fact that the software / hardware can’t identify Black Desi but happily tracks and follows White Wanda is quite amazing. In the video, Desi is good humoured (if a little surprised).

In the wider world, however, this of course raises some big questions about the unchallenged assumptions that are what we mean when we say ‘institutionalised racism’. Whether or not it’s the truth, it’s all too easy to imagine a cluster of young, white geeky guys developing this technology. If it is true, then it gives us a glimpse of an unconscious aspect of racism: that if we’re white, we just don’t just think about being black.

In terms of online reputation, how HP handles this from here on in will be telling – and hugely important. All I can say is that I hope they deal with it with the same mixture of lightness, seriousness and openness as Desi and Wanda did.

On first investigation, I can’t find much response from HP.  There is this… and Mashable goes into more detail here….  Mashable seems to just want to write it off as a technological failing.  I disagree. I think it’s more revealing than that.

And is anyone else surprised that HP didn’t respond in the same medium (YouTube) the way that Domino’s did over that infamous YouTube video?

Virgin f1 team boss: green tax will kill airline industry

Rest of the world: airline industry, F1 and space tourism will help kill planet

It caught my eye yesterday (via Twitter) that Virgin boss Sir Richard Branson was in Copenhagen bending the ears of the world’s most powerful people on behalf of the airline industry – just a day after announcing the launch of the Virgin F1 team.

Sir Richard’s tweets seemed to me so incongruent I grabbed them on my iPhone.

inccongruentIt’s not that I wouldn’t expect the boss of one of the world’s biggest airlines to be lobbying at Copenhagen.  It’s not even that I don’t believe that he’s probably a decent bloke with some genuine good intentions looking to make a difference in the world; I’m sure he is.

It’s just that I can’t shake the simple incongruence of those things: a desire to help save our planet and a desire to race Formula 1 cars around tracks burning fossil fuels for the benefit of the automotive industry.

I don’t want to be a party pooper, Sir Richard.  Far from it.  I just want (perhaps in the spirit of Joanna Macy) to allow myself to feel the full wrongness of it without rationalising it away.

So there you are.  If you want to help the planet, Sir Richard, why not consider NOT running a F1 team?

Climate Change talks in Copenhagen: row over targets

rocketman

This picture is one of an ongoing series called ‘The Elephant Under The Table’ representing the things that people in organisations (and our wider culture) just can’t – or won’t – say.

You can follow the series on Twitter or by visiting Delta7′s website.

You’re welcome to print or re-use any of these images providing you leave the copyright attribution in the image.

If you want to crop or edit that’s fine – but remember to add the copyright notice again please.

Drugs: evidence that Professor Nutt is talking sense

Evidence that harm-reduction and Government revenue don’t mix

addiction1Photographed round the back of Tavistock Post Office yesterday, this is clearly the staff ‘smoking bucket’.  It looks awful to people who have never smoked.  It looks awful to those of us who once smoked but have since given up.

If I remember my days as an addicted smoker, it would have looked awful even while I was still smoking but, insanely, I – like the Post Office people – would have carried right on doing it.

It’s a powerful symbol of a drug that is so clearly destructive that no-one (not even a smoker) would argue otherwise.  More than that, it stands for a form of cultural suicide: death by self-medication.

The same, or worse, situation exists with alcohol.

One day, we’ll look back at these times without the fog of this cultural self-medication intertwined with its mass denial and political revenue generation.

And we’ll see that Professor Nutt was right.   These two drugs are far more damaging than all the illicit drugs put together.  The problem is simply that most people don’t want to look at their relationship to them.  The Government is only to happy to benefit from that.

“Using Facebook is like eating 100 Oreos” – a spontaneous audio review

nomnom1An in-the-moment review of Facebook captured on iPhone in the office

People in the office know I’m a bit of a social media critic.  Still, imagine my surprise when one of my colleagues (an avid Facebook user) suddenly launched into an appraisal of her use of Facebook – and why it made her feel so bad about herself.

Thanks to the miracle of iPhone’s Voice Memo app and a bit of editing in Audacity and balancing the output in The Levelator, I bring you this critical review of Facebook.

I love the bit at the end about the Oreos.  Nicely put.  Not that I’ve ever eaten 100 Oreos at a sitting…yet. :-)

Even Twitter will die….

I hate to be the bearer of bad news but Twitter WILL pass away

It will.  One day in the not too distant future, we will look back and cringe.  One day, Twitter will be history.

Personally, I’ve suddenly lost interest in Twitter and I’m at that ‘I think I might just de-activate’ stage’.  One more foot firmly OFF the social media bandwagon.

So what’s the matter with Twitter?  Well, nothing, really.  What’s wrong is me.  I’m just bored with the same people talking the same stuff every day.  No offense, everyone, but I’ve had it up to here with the endless chatter about social media.  And that includes me, by the way.  I’m fed up reading Tweets from people whose lives consist of lurching from one drink after another (do they really have no idea they have a problem?) and I’m tired of the whole undercurrent of small businesses looking to Twitter as a kind of Holy Grail of how to make money.

And the problem with Twitter is that if you’re bored with reading (or writing) the same stuff every day, it seems that there are only two real options open to you: either follow more people or get off the bus.  Since I don’t want to do more of something that doesn’t interest me any longer, I guess the only option is to get off.

And that’s ok because as I get older, I find I like solitude, peace and stillness more and real life as opposed to life experienced through piddly little screens.  And I also have less and less important or grandiose to say and less of an urge to say it these days.  I’m less concerned with how popular I am  or how many followers I’ve got.  I’m not sure I can even be bothered to blog any more or worry about a website.

Eckhart Tolle says that things aren’t a problem until we start seeking ourselves in them.  A work colleague of mine in London the other day spontaneously announced she had suddenly woken up and realised how much she hated the person she had become since using Facebook: vain, egotistical and self-obsessed.  Hungry and addicted.

I think I’ve reached a point where NOT doing things is becoming much more attractive than doing them.  Like NOT having to upgrade;  NOT talking about ‘social media’ all the time; NOT Tweeting; NOT needing the latest laptop or the newest phone; NOT chasing top Google spots; NOT worrying about followers, subscribers and hits or how to monetise traffic.

Ahhh. Can you imagine it?

LinkedIn: Social media as ‘Walled Community’?

LinkedIn wants you to share stuff with it’s community first, your community second

I’ve said this many times before, but I think LinkedIn makes social media hard work.

Why? Not least because of its clunky ‘what do I do now’ functionality.  But also because it wants you to stay within its walls more than it wants to recognise the way you want to use social media.  It has something of an AOL feel to it.

I keep getting the occasional invitation to connect and the odd link from LinkedIn.  I go to there, accept the invite, say hello sometimes… and then sort of grind to a halt thinking ‘what can I do now?’

This morning, I got a link from an online reputation group I subscribed to in LinkedIn.  I went there, had a read and decided ‘I’d like to Tweet that’.  I clicked the ‘Share this’ button and found myself being offered the opportunity to share the link with people in my LinkedIn network.  Pity I wanted to share it with my Twitter network.

And there you have it.  Social Media as walled community.  This network versus that network – all vying to own the member pool.

So long as there’s revenue to be dreamed of and grasped, will there ever be a totally open social media network?  One which sets out to seamlessly interface with every other network of choice?

Personally, I doubt it.  What do you think?

I just wrecked your business plan, Facebook

Does Adblocker wreck Facebook and Google’s business models?

I installed Adblocker a while back and was astonished to find that it simply disappeared all Google ads and all Facebook ads – just like that. No fuss, no complicated set up.

As I sat there staring at the denuded landscape that is Facebook without those nasty, tacky, spammy ads I was struck by the fragility of Facebook and Google’s business model.

To get what I mean, picture yourself sweating in front of the investors in Dragons’ Den.

“…with hundreds of millions of subscribers, the ad revenue will net us $blah blah blah millions a year” you say.

“What happens if I switch this Adblocker thing on?” asks Theo Paphitis with that ‘you bet I’m going to try to break it’ look in his eye.

Shit, you think to yourself. ‘Maybe people won’t find out about Adblocker or maybe they’ll prefer ads…” you bravely venture, beads of sweat trickling down your back.

“I’ll tell you where I am-” interrupts Duncan testily, heralding your exit fyom the den.

What kind of business model is it if one click of a mouse can unravel it?