Top Tip for managing your online reputation: don’t react.
As useful definition of ‘reaction’ is the ability to do something quickly, and more importantly, without thinking. In the animal world, this looks like a gazelle running like hell just long enough and fast enough to avoid being a leopard’s dinner.
In the human world, it’s more often than not a recipe for disaster. Of course, there are times you have to react physically without thinking for your own safety. Crossing a road, avoiding a fight… you know the kind of thing. We’ve all been there – but realistically, the times when our safety is really threatened are rare.
But where we differ from animals is that we also have a tendency to react when our egos are threatened (or, for that matter, massaged). When someone criticises us, we feel bad and react with anger and defensiveness. When someone praises us, we feel good and react with kindness and openness.
The problem for most people is that they’re not conscious of their egos being threatened or massaged and they’re not aware of their reactions either.
Next time you find yourself being criticised by an unhappy customer, remember that your ego regards critical feedback as a threat to its very existence. Your first reaction will be to flight or fight. Either you will want to avoid dealing with it or you will want to argue it.
Anything you do out of reaction will make matters worse, because your ego will be running the show, not you. If you’re not careful, before you know it, you’ll be arguing with the customer instead of listening to them. Or you’ll find yourself making them wrong; and doing your utmost to damage their credibility. I’ve seen all kinds of reactions in my time. An out-of-control reaction to difficult feedback can eclipse the original mistake or problem in no time.
So what’s the secret to not reacting?
There’s only one way to take control of your reactions – and that’s to become conscious of them.
If you believe that you’re a slave to your emotions and the reactions that follow, then there’s no hope for you. You will always be walking in a reputation minefield – one that’s just got a lot bigger and more crowded with the advent of social media.
My advice is to become conscious of your reactions (and the feelings that prompt them) first of all. If you can do that, you stand a chance of intervening in future. The next time you get that really hurtful bit of feedback from a customer (and you will), choose not to react. That, quite literally, means having the discipline to do nothing when you most want to, in the knowledge that whatever you do now is likely to be in reaction.
You may find that doing nothing causes feelings to come to the surface. That, folks, is entirely natural. And guess what? It’s also why most people prefer to react.
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